Are you feeling discouraged and losing hope on your fertility journey?
While some people may find themselves unexpectedly pregnant, for others it is a different story, in this episode, Gabrielle Nigretti shares her fertility journey and how she conceived her son with Reiki. She shares how the Reiki healing served her through her pregnancy and motherhood.
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The Make A Baby Podcast is proudly presented by the incredible Carolina Sotomayor, the Make A Baby Membership, and the Next Level Fertility Program.
Meet Carolina Sotomayor, your go-to Expert Reiki Womb Healer! She’s your partner in the journey to motherhood, helping women all around the world bring their baby dreams to life by tackling physical barriers with Reiki magic. 🌟
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Podcast Episode Transcript
Hi, welcome back. This is the Make A Baby podcast and I’m Carolina so to my your womb healer and podcast host today we’re talking about a journey that’s very special to me because this human is one of my favorite humans on the planet. We’re going to talk about how Reiki impacted. Gabriella has made great ease preconception and beyond all the way through motherhood, so. So Gabi my love, how are you today?
Lovely, thank you. How are you?
I asked this question to every podcast guest. Where are you in the world?
Alright, I’m in Connecticut.
Okay, so you’re us. You’re stateside outside. So I’m a little bit about Gabby, is we’ve known each other what for over a year now? Well, over a year,
almost two. Yeah.
Two years. Yeah. So Gabby, will just dive in. So how did you find me? I actually found
you on TikTok. One of my fellow plus-sized creators that I became really good friends with she saw me sharing my infertility journey. And she was like, You need to talk to my friend sent me your your bio, your Tiktok link and I was like, oh, follow immediate follow. And I started jumping on your lives and I jumped on your free calls. And that’s it. The rest is quite literally history. Yeah. And
then lady you joined you join the membership. It’s now called naked baby membership. It was called a couple of different names before the permanent name now but and I just fell in love with Gabby, her energy’s infectious. So tell us a little bit about your fertility journey. And let’s How did Ricky help you, I guess. And what was the end result?
Well, I’m sitting in the nursery. So I started trying to conceive about almost six years ago, now my husband, I have just become just not married. And we knew that we always want to, like, I knew that my purpose in this earth was to be a mother. Obviously, with being a little bit plus eyes, I had several medical professionals just not never really listening to me. I would try to go back at them and they’re automatic was you’re just big. I tried for five years not protecting, constantly trying tracking ovulation, nothing was going on, nothing was happening. Obviously, we weren’t getting pregnant. I reached out to a fertility clinic, we got testing done, we found out that I had low MH. So I have diminished ovarian reserve, which pretty much means that I have low egg count. They said that my Hail Mary, for lack of a better term was that I was still quote unquote, young, which I did not think I was. So it was very nice to hear that but said that I was quote unquote, young. And that the good thing about that was even though my egg quality was low, the quality of my egg quantity was low, the egg quality was still pretty good. So they immediately thought that I’d be a good candidate for IVF. Well, we went into the IVF realm, which is kind of when I joined actually, that is when I joined the membership with you. Remember, it was like right. Before my first transfer, I had like my pictures and my embryos and I was on your call. And I was like putting the pictures next to you like hoping some kind of like energy would go through. And, yeah, we had two failed transfers, we didn’t get any more embryos, we had two embryos and I just kind of took a step back after IVF really leaned into heavily to the what’s now the maker baby membership. And really started healing myself healing my ancestral traumas, everything like letting go of things that were toxic to me that I didn’t even realize were as toxic to me as I thought that they were. And I kind of had a conversation with myself with my husband that we kind of wanted to take a step back from IVF we were gonna give ourselves till the end of the year and this was last year. A year and a half ago there I suppose to the end of the year before. If anything, we would go back to try IVF and within four months of healing and really leaning into that I was pregnant. We did do medication so it wasn’t 100% natural but like wholeheartedly thank Reiki for that. Because I mean obviously yes the meds helped but it was the moment I started healing that like and truly truly devoted myself to healing because yes through IVF I was on your calls and I was in the membership but like my brain kind of really wasn’t there. And I remember you always say like if you don’t want this super bad that don’t work with me yet like you know, like the people that I’m so hard on No, I love it. It’s the best you need the harshness. It’s the tough love and it’s genuine love because I have never found that connection with anybody else that just so wholeheartedly wants this for you. And it’s like, okay, well get it done or stop making excuses and just go for it. So it was really when you when I had a conversation, which I really like, I remember like it was quite literally yesterday. And I was like this is it like this is my breaking point. I need to just need to start healing me and I did and hormones and yeah, my little baby growing.
And how old is baby now?
Baby is going to be 10 months. I cannot believe that. Lying to me. I swear he’s going to be 10 months on July 6, so he’s
everywhere. While he’s my
actual age. I know. Yes. Yes. This puts everyone first birthday party and it is absolutely nauseating.
So your Reiki baby is? Wait, you said it just did you say real age or adjusted age? What did you say?
actual age is nine months adjusted at six months.
Okay, so he can you explain the difference of he was a preemie. So can you explain because I don’t think everyone is well versed in in that if they have never had or been exposed to a story of a preemie. I don’t think many know and I’m not super versed in preemie. So can you explain it for us?
So my little regular baby decided that he was just impatient. And he met us at 27 weeks and four days. So he was born three months early. He so when they do ages, when they’re premature like that, you basically subtract. So the actual age now becomes his due date. So his due date, he became a zero he was apparently born up until then he is like, it goes by gestation. So when he was like 10 weeks old, he was actually 37 weeks, not 10 weeks, if that makes sense. So when you do ages, you do so his actual age would be his birthday. So his birthday is September 6. So on July 6, he will be 10 months old, which is unreal, but because he was born three months early, you’d kind of subtract three months from that, if that makes sense. So you just do two parties. That’s what I said, You know what, that is what I said, and I’m gonna bring that up again.
Because, okay, I know your story pretty well. And I follow you religiously, but, and you and I have been in classic, like we’ve been consistent in communication. Um, why not celebrate? Because I believe like, the greatest thing I’ve been doing this year, has been celebrating more 100% why not celebrate? Like, what’s what’s going on? Even if it’s just your family and your mom, like, do a big thing and decide one that works best for you. But like, why not? Like celebrate twice? Because like, this is a truly he’s a true coup. He’s a true miracle baby.
Oh, yeah. I actually do I acknowledge both dates. So good.
I would highly encourage you to because that’s something significant you endured.
Heck, yeah. Absolutely. And I still, I still, like, he is a 10-month-old baby. But if you saw him he’s very like when people like How old is he? I was like, He’s nine months. But he’s really only six months because he was a pretty mature baby. Like I always feel the need to like, over-explain why he’s kind of like small, firm and mental. But he was actually born on my father-in-law’s birthday. My father-in-law passed away in 2018. So it’s a huge part of thinking it was a huge part of us like our story and trying to get pregnant lots of signs from him when I was pregnant and right before so the fact that he came so early, so early in the morning on my father in law’s birthday was so bittersweet. That’s like, that was my best friend. So we do wholeheartedly celebrate that day, but I will always acknowledge his due date and his like, adjusted birthday. Because I do believe he should be celebrated twice, you know, like, he’s, I celebrate everything with that child. Oh, yeah.
I do, too. I, we only have one kid. So I savor. When I and I, when we when I, when we got engaged. We had the conversation of like, we had the conversation we were dating, but it was more like we wanted one kid and we started to like, what kind of life do you want and what kind of things are what are we going to do together? And we had always thought of ourselves as like a micro family. We just wanted one kid. And we wanted to travel the world and didn’t know how that was all going to play out. But we had really just really wanted one kid and I had my reasons. And Ryan had his reasons. And collectively that made sense for us together. So when I got pregnant, I just walked around like I was Queen Chiba. And I was like, this is the only time I’m ever going to be pregnant in my life. And this is just that was just this is my mentality of what I went through back in 2016. Was I’m going to do this to the nines, I’m extra, I own it. And like, I just want to remember this is like, if it’s a one-time experience, I never get to do this again. I want like, I want to remember. So that’s how we approach a lot of things in our household of like, what can we do to make this printable? Are we taking photos, we have a lot of Polaroid
100% My phone storage is like Mega full.
I buy extra every month I pay that 99 to Apple 399 Cloud Storage, all that sort of a lot of videos.
That is so funny. So funny.
So you mentioned some things you need to heal. Do you feel comfortable sharing what like some of those things that you had to heal
Yeah, for sure. So, one of my biggest things is my relationship with my father. We never really had a severed relationship. It wasn’t any of those like, a you need to forgive him and move on. It was genuinely just, I always said like, Oh, I’m not that big of a daddy’s girl like I I am throwing through a mama’s girl. My mom is like my best friend. My dad is kind of there, you know, like you love them, because he’s your family. And you just kind of keep going through life like that. And yeah, there were just some things that like, you would have never known that you brought up to me that I was like, oh, that’s blocking things for me. Like, okay, I guess I’ll I guess I’ll deep dive deep into that, that you don’t even realize growing up that impacted you. That like, will affect you, when you’re an adult, like you said something like you need to make sure that your inner child like feel safe, you need to realize that you’re an adult and that you’re safe. You’re not a kid anymore. And um, and I, at first again, like my relationship with my dad was never anything crazy. So I just never brought it up. Like, what do you mean? Like there’s so many other people who I know that have like, these horrible suffered? Father relationships and I’m like, That was That wasn’t me. So I just never thought like, oh, like I’m never I’m not going to have to heal that. He I’m functioning, but he won’t listen to this. So he got married to a woman who’s not the best. Just very, very toxic. And I needed to remove myself from that I am a through and through a Yes, ma’am. I will bend backwards and snap for everybody else’s comfort. And I needed to learn to stop that I needed to learn to set boundaries, which was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It’s just very hard for me to say no, it’s very hard for me to stand my ground because I wholeheartedly just will always want to please everybody else before I accuse myself. And that’s not like a martyr thing. That’s just a genuine that is just how I thrive off other people’s happiness. And I needed to learn to set boundaries, I needed to learn to walk away from the toxic even if that means that they are family, my new favorite saying is that your title in my life does not make you entitled to me or to my child. If you do not make effort, if you do not make effort, and you’re not going to match my effort to be in your life, then you don’t need to be there. And that goes for family, friends, whatever. And I think that a lot of the time when it comes to family, there’s like a gray area. And people don’t want out because it’s family
100% You’re like speaking my soul. Yeah, I told that once to my mother-in-law. And she, Oh, I I will do anything for her. And the reason why is that she shows up for us. 100% she shows up. And for me as a person that had been abandoned by a lot of family members or who had been rejected by family members who had just said Peace out. And I will I move Christmas up one day. And this past Christmas, because Ryan’s family were going to meet her at her house and we’d also were doing Christmas separately. But then we decided so I told like we pretended Christmas came early. And we did Christmas early at our house like Christmas Eve no che buena Christmas day. Yeah, we did it on a Saturday. So then we told all he was like, Oh, Christmas happens. And then we drove rather than on that Sunday this past Christmas, which would have been, I guess Christmas Day to her house that we could have Christmas together. And I wouldn’t have done that if I had not if she had not invested in me. But I’d be really frank my mom, I can’t get her to come here. I offered to pay her ticket She goes on other trips, whether people, I’m not chasing you. Nope, I’m not chasing you. So in nicest really honest, like, if you just like what you said, like, not gonna beg you to be here. And I will reciprocate. If you put energy into this, I will put energy back. And if you don’t make me feel like supported or like I mattered to you, then I’m going to have a conversation and then I’m going to embrace it. Yep,
that is and I will admit, that is way easier to do once I became a mom. Oh, when I said I didn’t. I would for ya know, yeah, exactly. Once I was even pregnant, I immediately was like, I look at you out, like without even thinking twice, because how I allow people to treat me is showing an example for my child, I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl, but whatever, my son to allow people to treat him and I won’t stand for that. And I always said that I’m going to raise children that know their worth and that people don’t have to be afraid of and I need him. In order for him to learn healthy relationships, he needs to learn healthy boundaries. And that was something that for me personally, I was just like, oh, well, I can, I can be uncomfortable because it’s just me, I can handle it. I’m an adult, I can process my emotions another time. But I didn’t realize how hard it was actually affecting me deep down. So yeah, like my dad is still very much in my life. But I’m not going to call him if he doesn’t want to come meet my kid if he doesn’t want to be around my kids. And that’s, that’s on you to live with. Not on me. I’m happy with where I am with the decisions that I made. And that’s it. And so that is like, the biggest thing that I needed to learn to heal, to get pregnant was the boundaries and the just like toxic things that you don’t realize, are actually poisoning you more than you think they are.
Wow, that’s super powerful.
Well, it’s because of you. So you’re freaking amazing.
Thank you. I receive that. And Lords of release Meyers. Yeah, lady. So talk to us. How do you so Reiki helps you get pregnant and that essentially, is these issues, you really leaned into your healing, and it opened up that sacral plexus chakra, which is essentially what is needed in order to get pregnant. And then from there, once you’re pregnant, did, did Reiki help you with your pregnancy and postpartum or talk about that? How did it impact you?
100%. So I personally thought that Reiki was like the absolute number one amazing thing to get me pregnant. And then it’s so funny, because when you think that something’s like the greatest, and then something else happens, and it like is still there. You’re like, wow, it’s better than what I thought it was like, holy moly. I thought it was like, the best thing ever to get me pregnant. And now here I was in my pregnancy, and I was like, well, wow, wait, it’s better now. Like, Hold on. Wait, it’s helping me more now. And then postpartum. I was like, no, no, wait, now. It’s definitely helping me more than it did that. Like I just, it just kept showing up. Because you kept showing up so I was hugely to you. But pregnancy-wise, I wasn’t anxious. I was a mess. I was a hot mess. But I did. Yeah, I definitely tried to, like you said earlier celebrate every milestone. Every week, I literally would take pictures. I wasn’t even changing. Like I’m a big girl. I can hide pregnancy for a while like it was fine. I was just celebrating little things. My husband and I would go on dates every week, like when we would hit our new week or I would buy things once a week just like to collect for the baby. And it helps me it helps center me It helped ground me a little bit just to kind of like keep my anxiety at bay. The doctor’s appointments, obviously when you go through fertility treatments, you’re monitored way more closely. And then at 15 weeks, things started to get a little complicated. I was put on modified bed rest, everything started going downhill downhill, but you know, it started getting really scary and complicated. Yeah, so I was reaching out to you all the time and even just a message of like I see you or like reminding me like hey, like do your meditation breathe like stuff like that as simple as that may sound to some people it could literally make or break you like it could be the the reason why you like it helped me keep at bay a panic attack if that makes sense. I mean, when you’re sitting through what you’re feeling, yes, yes, I remember the day that everything was going on when it first when things first started going downhill. I was sitting in the like triage that labor and delivery. And I just My mind was quite literally racing like it. I think it was a version of like my life flashing before my eyes, but it was my whole fertility-like journey. And I was like If this ends right now like oh my gosh, I have to start over again. And I remember my heartbreaking and then the finding him on the ultrasound he was okay, thank goodness. And I was like, oh my god, like, holy moly, what is like, the emotions just completely escalated and then like, you know, still really scary. And yes, he was he was fine, thank goodness. But again, processing all of that and processing the emotions and processing the trauma. And it just kept going for 12 weeks until he finally made his entrance. So that is definitely a high-stress situation. And so the biggest thing that Reiki did for me was just keeping me foam when I was freaking out. I mean, you’re always gonna have to freak outs. I don’t think anything can ever take that away. But that little reminder, it was like that little reminder of the back of my head like wait, yes, this is scary. Yes, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. But he’s here, he’s safe. You’re okay, you’re pregnant another day, celebrate that. And kind of like switch my perspective on how I was thinking I was always a very, I didn’t like to say negative, but I was always very realistic human with like, just give it to me straight, like don’t beat around the bush, I can process news. But I needed to shift my perspective to attract what I wanted instead of what I was afraid of. Because What’s that movie, it’s really
powerful. I feel like I’m gonna I’m gonna mark it so we can do a clip. I feel like there’s a
movie where it’s like, your brain, your brain shows you what it’s what you’re what you’re actually afraid of, and not what’s actually there. And I think that that’s a huge part of my life in general, but specifically for my fertility and my pregnancy was, I was so set on, oh my goodness, I don’t want to lose this baby. Oh, my goodness, I need this to go, okay. I just need them to be okay. But I was like, wait a minute, you’re forgetting to stop and, like, be grateful that he is okay. Like he is okay, he’s, we’re pregnant again, were pregnant in another day. And I just I think I was creating this alternate reality in my brain of everything that I was afraid of going wrong. And you could sink into that. And Gabby without Reiki probably very much very aware I would have I would have 100% saying into that feeling. So it definitely helps me a lot.
So and then baby went on. So baby came early preemie and then you spent 88 days in NICU?
Yeah, he’s my abo days in the NICU. Which we got? No, go ahead.
I’m very grateful. I need to just preface that because I know how bad it could have been. I know that there are people whose babies are not as fortunate. And I literally say the word fortunate because I don’t even know. So that like, they know how lucky we are that he was okay. And he was only in the NICU for 88 days, like he came home on his due date.
And that’s so Oh, I do swamps every
week. So I’m gonna weaker.
Thank goodness. But okay, I just have to ask this question of you. Go ahead. Yeah. Because this is what I think of you. When you think about the journey, and you reflect about like, the times the temps that you had before, and getting pregnant with this little nugget, and then carrying him to 27 weeks and then doing the 88 days, and now he is 10 months old. Do you see yourself as a powerful person?
Because you did that, like you did that? Like your husband was there too. But was your uterus? Your surgery? To have him like you? Did you give birth vaginally? Or did they do a C-section they probably had to do C section or they do emergency?
C section. The original intention was to do vaginal delivery. It switched on us literally at midnight the morning that he was born, which was another like non-coins and it’s in my brain because it was my father-in-law’s birthday. They needed to do an emergency C-section because my contractions were so strong that his heart rate was dropping. So I would have Solly to flipped. His heart rate was dropping. Yeah. Yep. And that’s very common, apparently, but even weaker. I wasn’t playing around with that, like getting out.
No, yeah, no, it totally makes sense. That’s why Western medicine is so brilliant is like it’s it. There is amazing things that save lives all the time. So so I’m gonna ask the question again. You went through why? I know. But I want to plant the seed. Like no, I
know. One person, not just your strong person but like you. You did what people said were impossible for you.
Yeah, I it’s hard for it’s hard. It’s hard for me to look at it. Like I know I am I
really like I am powerful for Listen, eventually you’ll get there. I’ll ask three months from now. And you’ll say Yes, I believe that.
I definitely don’t know if it’s just my personality in general and how I am. I think that, yes, I am strong. But again, like everybody that’s like, Oh, you’re so powerful. Well, I didn’t have any other choice. What was like, what was I going to be? I couldn’t be everything else. I had to do this. But the the powerful person in my opinion here is not me. It’s my child. He did that. It’s not me. It was him. Like I was just as I call it. I was just as easy because I know. I love it.
I will No, I will counter this. Okay. I will cancel this. I once. I did I did hypnosis for maybe like six months straight. I went weekly for like, a couple years ago. And this lady said to me about my mom. And she said, if you came out this powerful in this tenacious in this like, you I have such a deep desire to impact the world. She was you and I described myself I’m a lot, I am. Quite a bit. I’m intense. I know my energy. And I am fully aware of who I am and what I what I do to people.
I love that about you, honestly.
Thank you. What does that say about my mom? Yeah. Because why? Because a weak person could never birth, a person that has this much to them, or this much energy about them. So when she told me that she goes, so don’t think of your mom, as a weak person. And I thought to myself, Oh, shit, here I am thinking so you know, my mom and I are on good terms. But like, there are certain things that I will I bought always in my head. And, um, it you know, if you had asked me 10 years ago, if I would have relationship with my mom, it would have been a no. So to think, you know, so I do think of her she earned her her strength and her power are different than mine. But her strength and power were to ensure that I got here. And that YZ so I always I always like to think of like, you know, I have body image issues. And like, I started with competence, just like everyone else. But and I think about like, when I body in regards in them, like all you might see my C section scar and I carry a lot of weight around that scar area, my stomach is shaped differently because of the scar. So it’s not exactly pleasant to look at. But I remember, I breastfed for four years. And that’s powerful. So like, and it’s incredible. I am surprised you trust me. But I think that it’s important for women, especially women that are going through fertility, to find and look at your journey, and reflect upon in a dare challenge every person, every listener, think of yourself as powerful. I’m sorry, you had to be so strong. I’m sorry, you had to be so resilient. But to counter what you said, I didn’t have any other choice you actually did. Some people walk away. Some people cower, and some people can’t cope. But you kept going. And so I pushed back on that, like you could have quit. But you are so powerful that you didn’t. And you showed up every day even when you were hurting. And for me, that’s power from your soul. And I am so privileged to be watching. But I think that’s important because when people are listening, they’re going to be impacted by your story. They’re going to be impacted be like, Oh my gosh, I don’t have any more hope. I’ve done Clomid, I’ve done IVF it’s a very common like, there’s a lot of common threads in your story that other women will will be able to relate to failed IVF attempts. You even I know you’ve changed clinics too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so like people have different clinics. They have had failed IVF attempts. They’ve done Clomid.
the you know, they’re so like I just I want particularly I wanted you to come on one because you’re here you’re just I love you so much. I love you but like your story is how Full. Thank you. In my litter definitely. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, I just, I know that it’s very easy to go through something and not see the journey for the like things that you like the behaviors like so you it’s very easy not to see yourself as a powerful person. But it is also not, you know, may not see how your story could impact so many. But your story certainly has all the elements to and impacts. Thank you. So you’re so
I genuinely think that a lot of my power. I was I was writing that power away when I got pregnant. And I would have a clinic they’re like, oh, this was a Clomid baby after like, failed IVF. And I was like, Yes, I did this because how many times my doctor pushed back and I literally told her what to do. And several times since then, like I’ve emailed her about, like, I need that she was like, Okay, no problem. Like, she doesn’t even question me anymore. Because I’ve showed her that I know myself better than anyone else. And I know my body and I know what I need. So if we’re riding the wave, I would like to encourage people who are listening to keep fighting for you. I mean, 100% There, there will be times in your journey where you’re exactly where you want to give in and there were times where I really tweeted the idea of like, okay, like, you know, not everyone is meant to have a biological family like convincing myself that I’d be okay with it. And I knew deep down that I was not going to be okay with it. And I And there’s nothing wrong with that. I just, I physically felt I was hurting, I needed to be a mom like, a biological bomb right now. And I just kept pushing and when you get that pushback from anybody, you push back harder. And that was where a lot of my power line. I think that in the in through healing and through Reiki, I was able to find my strength and my voice. And I learned to speak up for me. I’m sending. Wayne,
of whom he? Yep, is that matter your third chakra is has a direct meridian line with his energetic highway into your womb, and your wounds your sacral plexus chakra and in there is your worthiness and your emotions and your emotions of how you feel them, how you express them, how long do you hold on to them? Or do you release them? So are you saying that you had you found your voice came directly from the Reiki room healing where you’re like, because you felt strong enough to be more authentically yourself and ask for what you needed? Yeah, that will forever change your family tree. Because once you have that, in your being, you’re like, oh shit, I get results. This way. You get more of what you want. Because as an infinitely higher vibration. And people pay attention to that because when you when you borrow confidence versus like when you’re speaking and you have purpose behind it, that assertiveness in your voice in the pitch in your voice is so much more commanding of a room than if it’s borrowed 100%
And I think being assertive I appreciate you You taught me how to be women you were to think I was assertive and I kept saying I was really passionate and I think that that’s what kind of sparked my Okay, well
that word a lot you do?
Yeah. Fire let’s do it. Like let’s just drop one and it’ll be a domino effect. So
when I get excited I’m like rewrite at dawn.
I do that ladies we
are not lighting the world on fire Carol. I was like going down today. It was happening. I was like I just drink a quart of ice I literally drink a quart a
sweet tea today. Friggin amazing, honestly.
So I’m going to ask you a candid question about advice to give to another person. So for the person that’s about to give up hope Okay, on continuing to try or doing fertility treatments or whatever it may be. They’re losing hope in their fertility journey. What is one piece of advice that you have for them?
Um, first of all, I would have them hard because I was there last night Oh, isn’t it had so that’s actually I think I should just go go find someone Yeah, like the mind and just one piece of advice not to give up hope i mediately want to say dolt. But the reason why I’m gonna retract that is because I think that in the fertility community, when people are ready to give up, people say Never lose hope. And that is like hearing that as someone who’s still in the trenches, is quite literally like hearing that teachers scrape her nails up against a chalkboard. Because unless you are in this, you will never know what it feels like. And I think that it is true, not uncommon to give up hope to be on that verge of I’m losing it. And that’s, and I think that I would say, this is probably not like great advice, like, well, fuse things gap, but honor where you are. And I say that is great way. So a lot of a lot of things in every journey that I’ve embarked on in my life, and there’s been a lot of honor where you are. And if you are in that space right now, where you are feeling like it’s never gonna happen for you. Honor that feel that and if you genuinely in your heart of hearts are feeling like you need to find another way to make a family then do that. But if you still feel that little little, all you need is that little voice that just says keep going. That’s not a coincidence. That’s not a little voice. That is a don’t really,
I would say it’s probably a ding like a, like a flick. It’s a hit your baby. And believe me,
I know, it will be very subtle. Because I was there two years ago where I was completely done. I was crying every night I was I genuinely was about to like, give up on not just that, but I’m very many things in my face. And there was just that one when people just kept saying to me like, oh, well, you know, like, there are other ways to be a family and, and adopt and look into, and there’s nothing wrong with those. And I still say to Mike like, but it
wasn’t for you. It wasn’t you?
Yeah, right. It wasn’t at that time for me and I and the fact that every time they would say that it would get to me was my sign of okay, I’m honoring where I am. I’m honoring the fact that this is freaking hard and that this isn’t fair. But I think a lot of the time. You know, a lot of people in the fertility community hate me for this, but a lot of the time with fertility stuff. It’s a never ending. Circle have this sucks. And it’s not there. And yes, it does suck. And yes, it is not there. And yes, it’s horrible that some people could just oops, I’m pregnant, but, but it doesn’t make you any less of a human. And being sinking into honoring where you are is different than allowing that to completely consume your soul. So instead, I was very much the person of like, yes, it sucks, but Don’t pity me. I’m going to come out on the other end of this. And I kind of like, Look those feelings quite literally like in the face. And I was like fu I’m gonna rise above. And I’m going to show you that I’m going to do this because of the people telling me that I can. So I almost didn’t like in spite of people telling me a little
it was a lot of places being spiteful in my life. Honestly. Yeah.
Same. Recommend No, but it was just this little list poll that just said keep going. And like, I wish it was like this. Great advice. Like, genuinely i That’s kind of like
our I know, it’s something that I would recommend to honor where you’re at. And I think on, like, knowing where you’re at, but also honoring what you need. Yeah, I literally have told some people. You don’t need me right now. I need you to go be a human being I need you to go date your husband or your spouse, I need you to go live a little bit. And then you’ll be ready for healing. But there’s, there’s like, they’re like, or sometimes people need a break where like, we’ve had some people where they’re like on a hiatus like Kristen, who was on the podcast. She did healing for a whole year before she tried to conceive with IVF again, and she had one embryo and she got pregnant, and now he’s very similar as yours.
Yeah, he’s, I think, two months. There’s not a big difference. I think there may be like a six week difference.
They’re very close in age. And, um, I think honoring where you’re at is really great because doing that frequent check in because your needs might change. And where you’re at is not like a milestone of like things you’ve checked off or the supplements you’ve taken or your to do list. It’s not that it’s your emotional state and your mental state. And sometimes because when you’re going through fertility it’s consuming when you’re going through fertility treatment. It’s all about that there’s not much space or mental capacity for much else. There’s a lot of timetables to do a lot of like visits to do a lot of medications to take. So sometimes I advise people in if we’re doing like a Reiki session, and I scan them a lot of the times as I need to go live a little bit. Because it’s almost like you stop living for a little bit like, while you’re going through these treatments. And while you’re attempting because it’s also consuming. It’s like a restoration of joy, restoration of learning to laugh again, through this time, go out to eat, like go do you need to take a little trip. Do you need to go away for the weekend? Do you need to go? Do you need to do some meditation alone? Yep, there is what your needs are and what your emotional state are going to be different. But I think it’s really important to do that acknowledgement and check in with yourself. So Oh, yeah, it’s the best advice you could give it and I think you’re welcome. So yeah, do you have um, so do you have any, any summer plans with you and your baby in your hubs?
Yeah, so March. So we actually just came back yesterday, from our first family vacation. So my sister is two years younger than me. One of them is two years younger than me and we are actually six weeks apart. We are pregnant together. So her she had a baby girl, and I had my boy and we both made our mom and Nana for the first time. And it is the joy is on like literally unmatched I got the good one second pipe. Like I just I love her child so much. And she loves my son and just seeing them together. Because we’re so
special time in your life that I felt that we’re cousins. I didn’t know that was will dog. Yeah. Carol? I thought maybe it was your cousin who had? Well now. I thought it was her cousin who had a baby. Yeah, so then it was like your cousin in the baby was Eric. Cousins. If it was your? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, vacay
is gonna feel like a few days over the weekend. And then in August, we’re going on a big Florida trip together too. So it’ll be nice. We’re going to be in Disney for my son’s first birthday. And yes, I know he will not remember it. But you know who’s gonna remember it? Me and Mike. So you know what? Just go.
My, recommendation for postpartum and traveling with babies just do it. We had so much fun traveling with Ali. Like, literally, we traveled so much his first two years. He was a flippin’ like, row at Trump-like, now when I asked him like traveling, I mean, he just walks in there like with his little backpack with like, literally he I would give him the little gift cards to give to the travel and to the flight attendants. He’s like, can’t you go. And now he’s like, I don’t think I like flying anymore. I was like, Why did too much mom, because I’ve been on one in a year. But the thing is, is that he’s so strong-willed now. When he says he won’t do something, you will get, like a very physical No. Like, even if like no, we’re doing this as a family we’re getting on there will be like he will do something physically to exit the scene. So if we got to the airport, and he didn’t want to go through TSA. He would take off if you so sometimes I get a little scared. Like when he says he’s like a declarative statements. Oh, no, it but it’s like, I’m not going. Yeah, no, no, like we’re looking for tickets. Let me just show you where I want it. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, that’s that. And then he learned my language. That’s a hard no. Why it’s WHY IS WHY DID YOU KNOW I’m telling you like this is? Why, like, that’s just exit. So anyway, do you have any postpartum goals that you have that you haven’t met yet that I can help you with? Or that I can give insight on before we leave? I’m read
continuously work on healing because of the traumatic. Everything that happened in the last five years. I feel like my life was like on pause. I mean, everyone’s life was three so true. But like, I feel like I just woke up again, like my alarm clock went off, and I’m like, Oh, I gotta go back into life. Except now I’m six years older. My body is completely different and good luck.
I didn’t wake up until 16 months when all he was 16. It took me a while to wake up that week. Yeah. Is a real
I feel like I know that the version of me pretty baby is never I mean, I don’t want to be that person again. But back sound either balancing, finding me outside of being a wife outside of now being this little humans Mom, is something that’s very important to me. And I know that a lot of people are like, No, that’s my whole identity. And it is like, I love to be my son’s mom, but I to be the best mom to him, I need to find me again. So we’re working on that. And we’re working on you know, getting back into tennis, and working full time from home now and balancing a very rambunctious child. Um, it’s a work in progress, and we’re honoring where we are. And we’re embracing the freaking journey. And we’re just gonna keep trucking along.
I will give you some unsolicited advice that I didn’t learn until all he was three, but I wish I had learned it sooner. And I don’t know where I picked it up. Exactly. But it’s literally how I make a lot of decisions. Now. We’re gonna do this now until it no longer works.
I love that. I absolutely love that.
And we did we have a family bedroom. So we also been one bedroom because homey does not like to be alone. Imagine that, and having such a healthy attachment. But you’re sleeping in your own bed now. So like we co slept forever. So I just got him in his own bed this year. And I did co sleeping with him because we breasts friends for so long, but they couldn’t sleep without me. And then one day after I got karate chopped with a foot in my eyeball, was lucky to have a buck I woke up and I said, this no longer works for me. And I think it’s really important. We had made declarations like we’re only going to do Montessori School private schooling. And then that private school turned out to be not what it was cracked up to be the people were not doing what they were supposed to. And then that’s when I developed we are going to do this until it no longer works. And Olli will have long hair until it no longer works for him. And we’re until he doesn’t let me take care of it. But I think it’s the best thing to have and postpartum is to know that. In the words of one of my other favorite people, winter fodder owl was she had said this about her fertility, where she goes, I wish I had let my fertility unfold the way it was supposed to. So also with your postpartum give it space for you to unfold as a person, you might discover certain certain things about yourself that are different, and that are really great. I discovered I was a patient person versus being a hurricane before. You know, I certainly want and want to go back to the person I was before pregnancy. I miss I’m such I’m still an intense person, but I’m calmer. I’m calling and I’m also patient. I was not a patient person before that person came out of me. So thank you so much for being here for having me. I’m
so honored honestly.
I am obsessed with you. And friends, I want you to go ahead and go to the show notes. And I want you to grab my womb to dream connection sleep meditation for connecting with spirit baby. And this is one of our favorite Riki meditations and the makeup baby membership. And while you have your phone open, assuming you’re listening to my voice right now on your mobile device, go ahead and open your Instagram app and follow me at the Carolinas it’s my your I love to hear from you and I will send you a voice note back when you DM me. Let me know what topic you want me to talk next or speak to next. And until then let the Reiki flow and I’ll see you back here next time.