Is your house driving you crazy? Over 27% of adults in the United States report their homes are cluttered, according to SpareFoot.
In this episode, Carolina and Organization Expert Rebekah Saltzman discuss how an organized home can deeply benefit. your fertility and emotional health. Rebekah shares her experience how creating space for your baby in your home helps your fertility journey.
What you’ll learn:
1:13 Who Rebekah is and what she does in the world
2:15 How the home and organization affect women, fertility, and baby
11:00 The reality of organization
12:45 Give everything space
18:00 Rebekah’s advice
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The Carolina Sotomayor Podcast is brought to you by Carolina Sotomayor and the Fertility Foundation.
Carolina Sotomayor is an Expert Womb Healer who helps women conceive by removing physiological blockages with Reiki. She is the host of the Carolina Sotomayor Podcast, a show that covers everything from fertility to postpartum to motherhood, and the creator of Fertility Foundation Collective, an online membership that helps women heal at their own pace to boost their fertility.
Carolina has served over 500 women from around the world to heal. She is passionate about helping women create their families. As a result, there are over 60 reiki babies in the world.
Fertility Foundation Collective: https://carolinasotomayor.com/membership
Carolina Sotomayor Reiki: https://carolinasotomayor.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolinasotomayorreiki/
Full episode transcript:
Now is the perfect time to remove all blockages from your body with Reiki. That’s why I have created the Fertility Foundation Collective. We now have over 60 Reiki babies. To join, go to carolina soor.com.
Hi, I’m Carolina, your podcast host an expert wound. Over the past five years, I’ve served over 500 women to remove physical blockages in their bodies. We achieve this with Reiki. I believe healing doesn’t have to be done alone, nor should I be. We will hear stories of healing methods to heal with and guest speakers covering taboo topics you won’t hear anywhere else.
Let’s continue this journey of wound healing together. Hi, welcome back. I’m Caroline Podcast host in Reiki Master. Today we are talking to a very special person, and we’re gonna be talking about how to move on from clutter to organization for your baby with Rebecca Salman. Hi. Hi. How are you? I’m good. I’m glad to be here.
Thanks for having me. Thank you. I always have the honor and privilege of hosting so many beautiful souls from around the world. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself and where you’re residing in the world? Sure. So right now I live in Israel. I moved here in 2014 from New York City, and I actually grew up right outside of Washington DC in Silver Spring, Maryland.
and I am a personal organization. . I love that. So today I, I think a lot of our listeners be like, what are you talking about? How does organization relate to our baby and clutter? What does this have to do with my fertility? And it actually has a lot to do. Think there’s a lot. So that goes into clutter.
There’s a lot that goes into organization for me, being organized digitally. Is easy, but being organized in my home is an active skill I have to work very hard at. It’s not something that comes very easy to me. So I actually have hired organization people to come and help me build systems in my home to make organization easier for me.
So I know organization can be really easy for some people and really hard for others like myself. So how does our home and organization actually affect us? Our fertility and baby, how does this all link together? Okay, so clutter is just a deferred decision, right? And in Judaism, Ooh, that’s powerful. Yeah, it’s like clutter is a deferred decision.
Yes. Because it’s like, you know what I’m thinking? You’re like holding onto it and you’re like, why? I might need it. I might come in handy. You know what if I want it, what if I can’t get it again? And there’s a couple aspects of that that for me are very. Like eye popping out of the head kind of situation where it’s like, When you examine that a little bit deeper, it’s coming from a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset.
And in order to move forward in life and get what you want, you always have to be in a state ready to receive abundance. But the thing about abundance is that, . You can’t get it if you don’t have space for it. And sometimes that’s physical space and sometimes that’s emotional space, and sometimes that’s spiritual space.
Whatever that space looks like for you. If you don’t have a space to receive, what are you gonna do? Do you know? Like how are you gonna receive the goodness that comes from God? I mean, I personally believe in God. If you believe in the universe or karma or whatever you believe in, if any of those things are gonna send you something, where are you gonna put it?
you know, it’s like, So I have had two clients who have told me they wanted to have babies, and they were in positions where you would walk into their house and you could barely get across the floor without stepping on something. And I finally looked at them and I said, if God gave you a baby today, where would you put it?
Where there isn’t even enough room to open a pack and play and a stroller. So even if you’re holding onto like the bare minimum of baby supplies, a pack and play, and a stroller though, that’s like the bare minimum, where would you put it? Like, you don’t even have the physical space to put that. So how can you receive if you don’t have the physical space?
So the physical aspect of, of it is one aspect of organization, but then there’s, you know, the emotional clutter that comes along. Sometimes we think we’re ready for something, but. We’re not, and we haven’t made emotional space for, for whatever. We want to come in our lives to come into our lives, and that’s important too.
So working on ourselves in that aspect is also important. That’s not my area of expertise, but from the , from the physical standpoint. of things. It’s all about creating the home and the environment and not putting off those decisions anymore. Rather really understanding what you need in your life and what you don’t need, and allowing what you don’t need to leave so that you can make space for the things that you want.
And I have this friend and she always says to me, her name is Grossman, and she says, God never says. No. To us, he either says yes or he says not right now. And I love that. I really like that a lot because it’s, it, it reminds me that like, Maybe the next time I ask the question will be different for something.
But right now when the answer seems like it’s, no, it’s really a not right now, and that means that I have to work on myself. And so I always try to look around and say to myself like, okay, what can I let go of in my life that, you know, will allow me to create space to, for God to send me what I want? And that for me is the relationship between getting what I want just out of life and abundance and, and having less.
There’s a Jewish proverb that says, more possessions. More worries. And to me that’s really true because even if you don’t think you’re worrying about something, the fact that like. Something could happen and that you would have to be responsible for. All those things sort of always sits on you in the back of your mind, and when you have less stuff, there’s less to worry about.
So from the emotional perspective, Letting go of the things that you don’t need anymore will also clear out the worry, the anxiety, the debilitating fear that something could possibly go wrong and allow you to be open to receiving. I love that so much. A great lesson in manifesting is that you have to feel it, but not only do you have to feel it, but you also have to create space for it in your life.
So when you said that, it’s so true when people say that they want more money, the number one thing is. , what does your wallet look like? What’s your relationship with your money look like? What energy are you putting into it? What are you doing to hold space for it? But also like, are you creating room? So is your wallet clean and is there a clean, neat place for it to enter?
So I always recommend. If it is money that they’re after, get a new wallet. What are some of the habits we need to adopt to make sure it’s always ready to receive money into? So when we’re talking about a baby, what room is baby gonna go into? I also like to go a step further is I have some moms that I have coached in that we’re in the me.
They’ve been trying for so many years and I say, okay, what’s the plan? What are the steps that we’re doing with your doctor? What are the steps we’re doing holistically? And but also is, I was like, is your life set up right now to reflect how you would be living with baby? Correct. And it’s important like lifestyle.
So like there’s something about survival in doing what you need to, we’re, we’re talking beyond that. It’s like you’re doing what you can to take care of it, but this is beyond that. Like if you’re wanting to actively conceive and create this baby, What do you want your life to look like and what are some small steps today that we can do to move the needle, to get you in that direction now?
Because small steps over time will amount to a hundred percent more than making no changes at all. So, Usually when I ask people, I’m like, okay, if you’re trying to conceive, but you are working 80 hour work weeks, or if you’re wanting a baby and you’re wanting them to get pregnant in the next six months, but you’re having no time to rest, you’re not eating properly, you’re not prioritizing your wellness, how are we going to conceive?
If you’re going a hundred miles per hour and you’re not looking. What space you need to create for baby within your life. True. Um, that’s also a time management issue because you like hit the nail on the head. It’s a decision deferred. Yes, that’s true. But I also think that like what happens sometimes is while we’re waiting, we think we’ll just try to get in as much stuff as we can.
And in terms of like working the 80 hour work week or, or, you know, Trying to tie up all the loose ends beforehand, but, but what I think is important is organizing your time so that the transition between no baby to baby. Is also smooth, which is also an organizational process. Like you have to figure out how you’re gonna scale back.
You know, depending on what your job is or what your lifestyle is like, how are you gonna maneuver between, between what you do now and what the changes that are coming. I think a lot of people don’t fully understand the changes that happen. When you have a baby, especially if you have a baby that doesn’t come in your timeline, so I have three kids.
They were all born at 34 weeks and they were all in the I C U and. You don’t know what’s gonna happen and thank God they turned out to be okay, but like when it’s your first one and they’re sick and it’s like, it’s crazy. And when you haven’t made a plan to sort of figure out how you’re gonna scale back and anything can happen at any time during pregnancy and you wanna make sure that like you have thought it through, how you’re gonna manage that aspect of things.
Sorry. No, that’s not where we . So what you’re implying is organization is not just the vase placing on the shelf or the fort going inside it’s spot in the drawer. It’s also mental and also anticipation of the events that are coming in our life. So organization of those things. Yeah. Okay. So with that, so let’s, let’s take it from the house.
So organization and having clutter, having clutter in your home can contribute to anxiety and depression a hundred percent. And in the, the benefits of having an organized home and going further is owning less. So having a minimalistic. Approach to possessions could also allow you to clean up faster, allow you to know where things are, you’re losing, spending less time, having anxiety or researching for things.
Yeah, I think that’s really also important when. You have children. For me, I never wanted to fold clothes, so I actually found this YouTube video was, if you’re new to organization and you have a baby, it’s better just to have buckets or baskets. I always tell my clients that, And I never folded after that.
My mother-in-law, she was a saint, she came and she hung up some of the clothes that were really special and more expensive. But from there on, we still have in our closet Olive always clothes, unless he wants to hang them up. He has autonomy. He puts away his laundry, but we don’t fold. We will group the socks together, we’ll fold, we’ll roll those up, but like we don’t fold any of his.
It allows him to have autonomy and also less fuss. I don’t care if my towels are foldered a certain way, but are they in the right spot? That’s the key, is giving whatever you own a place to live. If it doesn’t have real estate, then it’s not important enough to you to keep, so let it go, and if you don’t have space for it.
I think one of the things that we often forget is that there are physical limitations to how much stuff we can put into our home, because our homes are only a certain size, so you can’t exceed that or else you’re gonna, you know, be going down the hoarder path and you don’t, you don’t want to, because most of us really do want a nice, clean and tidy home and come into our house and feel like, oh, sanctuary, you know, and, and feel good about where we’re at.
I think what people forget is empty space is okay. You don’t have to fill every single square inch of your property to feel good about yourself. Retail therapy helps you in the short term, but in the long term, what it does is it just adds clutter when you’re not thinking about what you’re bringing into your home.
If you’re not consciously making choices about what’s coming in, then you’re taking up space that you don’t need to take up, and I think that there’s a lot of things that we bring into our lives unconsciously, and we don’t need to do that. What will help us is when we’re thoughtful and curative, like we’re curating the best collection of the things that we have, so that you.
We have only the things that we love, and it doesn’t take up more space than what we need. And when that happens, it’s easy to find what we’re looking for when we’re looking for it. And there’s just less maintenance revolving around stuff. And there’s more time to focus on the people and things that we love.
And after all, I mean, that’s why we’re here on earth, right? To spend time with the people we love doing the things we love. Absolutely. And if you’re spending time on stuff, you can’t do that. So with a person that wants to get started, so say they’re trying to conceive and they have a cluttered home, or maybe it’s clean, but they’re wanting to organize it, how does one get started?
Because I believe decluttering has to start before you start to organize. Cuz you have to reduce the mass. Yes. I know, I know why you’re mic my new bestie cuz like we’re on the same page. . How does a person start with decluttering? I have some ideas, but you’re the expert. So if a person is saying, okay, I’m trying to conceive, I wanna declutter my home.
Before I organize, how do I get started with this process? Well, first of all, you should join my online decluttering group because I’ll walk you through exactly what to do in your space specifically, but I love that. What’s the unnamed of the Online Clutter Declutter group? It’s called the Journey to Organization Membership, and we work together over Zoom to declutter your space, and it’s really revolutionary for people who are in the membership.
It. Big, big, huge difference. Wait a minute, I need to know because I, because I decluttered my home. When we moved to, from an apartment, we had two garages, a two bedroom apartment. We moved into a three bedroom, two, a three bedroom, uh, two bath, two car garage, 1700 square foot. We had a 1200 square foot apartment.
and I hired someone. I have probably undiagnosed h adhd, but Okay. It is much easier. I don’t have, my mom doesn’t live here, my dad’s pass. So like I sometimes need a babysitter. I just need a body to that’s dedicated to help me with this one task. So for me is, that’s like actually a perfect remedy of like having accountability.
Someone that’s dedicated to helping me do that. . That’s so, is that what it’s like exactly? Are you all decluttering at the same time? Everybody’s decluttering at the same time. Some people do use the time to do like admin tasks that they need to get done around their house, like making phone calls or ordering things or whatever.
But most of the people are decluttering and the real power of the group is that. Everybody’s doing the same thing as you. I mean, they might not be in the same room. Exactly, but everybody’s working on decluttering and so when someone gets stuck, you can hear me giving them advice. And even if it’s not advice that’s relevant to you at that minute, you can, you know.
Apply it to yourself, and that’s really helpful. If it’s helpful for everybody, I’m happy to give a coupon code to all your listeners. Yeah, we’ll, we’ll go ahead and put that in the show notes. Okay. No, I’m super curious. I know that memberships are in the new thing and I even have one at, you don’t have to join the membership.
You can join it one off. You can come as you want, as you need. I think it’s a beautiful idea. I was on TikTok and I learned what Monotasking is. Mm-hmm. and I adopted that recently. I learned that multitasking was actually meant for computers, not for human brains. Yeah. And I actually have a timer on my computer.
I think my five-year-old took it back, but my husband got this yellow timer for us and we do things in five, 10, and 15 increments and it’s just that one task. So it allows us to like actually, Collaboratively as a family. Yeah. Pick up things. As long as there’s a time limit. We love to do a good race. So just having community, it really can make a difference for a person.
Yes. And probably, I’m gonna guess your advice is not to take on the whole house. Maybe you start in zones or one room. So my advice is always start with the low hanging fruit. Okay. What’s that? So, Typically nothing living a fruit or, but what’s with that in your house? Yeah, so that depends on the person.
Normally I like to start in the master bedroom because I feel like when you make your room a sanctuary, the rest of the house sort of falls in line. That’s so good. I always stop the opposite. I always start with the living room and the toys. Yeah. No, I never make it to the bedroom. I think the bedroom like.
You wanna invite, you know, some spirituality into your life, you gotta make it a spiritual place, right? Like gotta make it a place where you wanna have a hookup. So make it someplace that you enjoy being someplace that feels comfortable to you or else it’s not gonna feel good, um, because, you know, You want it to be fun
So what you’re saying is if you want to have more sex, you need to make your room a boom, boom room. So you need to, it’s not just about sex, it’s also about, no, I’m just joking. Intimacy that, that a clean space provides Yes, because it feels good. It like the sheets are clean, the, yeah, it smells good. How is the experience for you?
I. And when you’re not distracted by like, oh, I need to clean that up, or, oh, that needs to be put away, or Oh, I need to wash that. When you’re not distracted by those things, you can focus on the task at hand, which is fun and great and you know, I love that. You should be focusing on it. My husband and I laid in bed the other night.
I was like, we were looking at the ceiling pin and we were just talking about our day and our son had already falling asleep and he. That ceiling fan’s really dirty. I was like, man, I need . I said, so can you imagine there like having sex and you’re looking up and it’s like, Ooh, the ceiling fan’s dirty.
Like that doesn’t feel good. A good, what? I mean organized master bedroom. Everyone will allow you to have better sex. , make sure like, there you go. Tip number one. Tip number one, declutter so you can have better sex. Right? So, cause who doesn’t wanna have better sex? Like, there you go. How does a person, I don’t know anybody.
So a great way for a person to handle the mental stress of even getting started is to have a buddy have accountability or join your membership. Yes. I had paid this gal. She came over and she literally, We, we didn’t even have a kitchen table. I gave away three quarters of our furniture when we lived in this apartment cuz it was like something between my husband’s dorm room, , my leftover stuff like met together and it was some IKEA pieces and I gave away our dining room table.
I gave away our couch, our dresser. I give away so much stuff cause I said, when we’re moving in this house, I wanna be very intentional about the pieces that we bring. Right. I don’t want him to be left over cuz it took everything we had to purchase this house. So literally we didn’t have a dining room table forever.
This woman that came and helped me, she laid out every single piece of lid. and Pyrex and Dish that I had, I can’t tell you how much we threw it, it, it went straight to the dumpster because it didn’t, it was broken chipped. Yeah. It, it was, it was amazing to have dishes and have them stored with their lids.
So that’s the, the low hanging fruit that I’m talking about. It’s especially, especially true in the bedroom. Think about categories like underwear, socks, makeup, those. . You know how many, I mean, raise your hand if you have underwear that has a hole in it or that you know, you would be embarrassed if someone caught you wearing, you know, your period underwear.
Yeah, but how many pairs do you need? Mm. Do you know what I mean? Like so true, like 10 pairs. Like that’s so true. Some women have like upwards of 50 pairs of underwear, and I’m like, ladies, that’s just not necessary. It’s just not, and it’s like you get, get rid of the ones that Aren serving. Why? Why? They have, mostly because they don’t take the time to go through them and get rid of the things that.
Work for them. I mean, I don’t even think a lot of it is yucky underwear. It’s like it doesn’t even fit half the time. My clients like give some fit’s true. And it’s like, or I don’t like the way they feel. Like they bought a pack of them thinking they were gonna be great, but they don’t really like the cut or the fabric or whatever.
So just get rid of them. And there’s a lot of guilt about letting go of something that you paid money for. It’s true. And like, Just get over it. If you want to bring abundance into your life, let go of the things that aren’t serving you to make space for the things that you want. It’s as simple as that.
Simple as that. So, so with that being said, creating baby is not just the act of sex, it’s also creating space for baby and designing your life. Around what you would want your life to be like once babies arrive. So that starts with your home, that starts with organizing. Like what kind of life do you want?
What do you want your days to be like? So we would take, I would probably say the purpose of organization also in design. So like we’re designing, so. Your organization of your home starts with reducing your anxiety decluttering so you’re spending less time cleaning, more time with your spouse, more time healing, more time, doing the things that bring you joy so that when baby does come, you’re the happiest version of yourself.
Once baby comes, it’s not gonna be easier to implement those systems. Oh God, yes. So you wanna be ready for what’s gonna happen after baby comes. I felt like after I had my child, everything was on a timer. , it’s really hard to get off of that kind of rat race. Yes. Because you’re squishing. And I think it has a lot to do of, with rewiring of expectations, rewiring of how much you’re trying to attempt to do in a short amount of time.
Because either you’re doing it with them on the hip and your arms around them, you can hip or you’re wearing them. I wear OIE a super, a ton and then, or you’re doing it while they’re sleeping. Right. So, and you should be not sleeping while they’re. That’s true, but you have pockets of time. You no longer have full days.
Right. So if you was hard to, we’re gonna let go. If you have systems already in place, it’s a lot easier to cope with the changes that come because you don’t, you don’t know what’s gonna happen. You don’t know how you’re gonna feel. You don’t know if you’re gonna have a C-section or a vaginal birth. You don’t know if you’ll have tearing you.
you don’t know what your recovery’s gonna be like. You don’t know if your baby’s gonna be sick, God forbid. I hope not. And I hope that everybody has an easy recovery, and I hope that labor and delivery is beautiful experience for everybody. But for some women, it’s just not. And. You have no way to know.
And the thing is, is we can prepare and prepare and prepare, and sometimes that doesn’t help us. But what it does do is it gives us the flexibility to pivot and it gives us information, it gives us setups, and it allows us to be flexible when something doesn’t go exactly the way we want because there’s less moving parts.
I love that. Does that make sense so much? A hundred percent. And so by setting up these systems, so what are some systems, at a minimum, would you tell a mom that is pregnant right now that she needs to get settled before baby comes? I would say clear out as much of the trash in the house and the stuff that you don’t need as possible.
Because if you can reduce your clothes, reduce your extra linens, You know, all the extra dishes that you’re not using, you will find that whatever’s extra clear out the garage, you know, whatever it is, you will find that it makes the transition to when baby comes easier. Actually, in Judaism, we don’t believe in preparing for a baby before the baby comes.
Oh, so. We think it’s like the evil eye to say anything before you’re three months pregnant. And we don’t believe in doing preparation before the baby comes. So my baby came at th my firstborn came at 34 weeks. I had registered for the things that I wanted, but I. Didn’t actually have anything. So my mom and my really good friend Kayla were scrambling to like go to buy my baby and pick up whatever I needed.
So they knew what I wanted, but I didn’t actually have anything. And it was good because I had planned it. Even though I didn’t have anything, it was easy for somebody else. It was easy for me to outsource. So the my point in saying this is that even if it’s not something that you have completely finished, at least if it started, at least if the system is in place already, it’s easy to outsource to a husband or a friend, or.
You know, a parent or an in-law and say, this is what I need help with because people do wanna help you and this is a really great thing to take off your plate. The other thing is, is like, so we have, you know, post baby rituals in, in Judaism, so we have a Brit MI law, which happens for a boy seven days after, right?
And. So you have a V eight days after, I’m sorry. You have a very short window of time that you have to prepare everything. So I didn’t have anything booked cause I didn’t know when it was gonna be, but I. Gotten priceless from caterers. I made the guest list already. I found the person who had performed the ceremony.
I, I had the address of the location. I had set up, uh, like a invite with all the details and everybody’s email address to send out to everybody. And all I had to do was input the information. Like there are things that you can do to. Be organized and prepared even when you don’t know all the details, which allows you to be ready when you need to flex and pivot and that that’s also key.
So I’m super curious. I’m not very familiar with Judaism at all. So if that’s a tradition that you don’t buy things before baby gets here, but wouldn’t that be super stressful? Like so you have a premature baby at 34 weeks. Like full term is like considered 36. Right? So then, oh yeah, you’re in icu, you’re in full postpartum.
and then you’re, maybe you’re luckily get discharged, you go home, but you don’t have any supplies, no wipes, no nothing. Is there a huge community that you rely on then? Like, so you’re, is it the dad’s responsibility to go and get the crib and all of the things that you would need? I, I think babies don’t really need that much.
Yep. In my opinion, I think we tend to overbuy for babies. No, no, I agree. Like I think, and the hospital gives you a lot of the initial supplies that you need. That’s true. That’s true. Did you only give birth here in the. I’ve only given birth in the us. In the us yes. Yeah. I just was, I, I was trying to think based upon what I knew, if you had given birth in Israel and what the, comparing what the, the hospitals were like.
But the hospitals give basically the same thing. Um, they do, um, yeah, basically the same. They don’t maybe give a diaper bag, but. If you need, they’ll give you diapers. I didn’t get a diaper bag starter formula. . You didn’t get a diaper bag? No, I got a diaper bag. So they give you like the diapers and the formula in a like a, it’s ugly but they give it to you
No, it was like a plastic bag. So basically I think that with it’s New York City, you know, super Can you Super. We do it upright in New York City. . I need to add that to your list to go to. I’ve never been to New York City the um, so. Oh wow. That’s super interesting. I love how different cultures, how they have different ways of doing things like, but see, wait.
I just want, sorry to interrupt you, but I just wanna point it out. I had prepared, I had made space in my life for the things that I needed. That’s true. And even though I wasn’t totally ready, it all just fell into place. It’s true, and I think that’s also part of being organized is passing off some of the responsibility to God.
Like for, for me, it’s God. Like I said, I’m always like, you know what? I’m ready. I’m ready to receive all the details. I’ll plan as much as I can, all the details that I haven’t planned, like God will just take care of that. And I think that that’s, that’s also a mindset shift, I think. But um, I think that that’s a mature mindset shift.
I think also that’s a person, I think for a person of faith that is, you know, something you, that people have to actively work towards. Yes. I, I don’t think as a person that I have deconstructed my Christianity, faith and. I have been to so many churches and have like questioned so many things and had, my husband was a monk actually before we got married.
Really? Yeah. So we have, have had these really deep conversations, I think, to get to the point of letting go and surrendering and trusting to a higher power, and again, to however, what your faith looks like. I think that that is a more advanced from, in my opinion, is a more advanced. Uh, relationship, um, in your faith that you have.
And that’s something that takes time, dedication, and, and, and I think that that’s not often talked about. Like, so how does a person just, she just trusts. I think it’s because you’ve put time, you’ve put in prayer, you’ve developed, um, this active practice of surrendering. And I think the active practice of surrendering so that you can trust that the things are gonna go right and it’s this higher power’s responsibility to do that actually is, um, something you’ve done over and over, or a skill.
Cuz for me, that’s how it, it actively had to be done. And the act of letting go was not a one-time lesson? No. It’s something I work on consistently. I mean, I read a lot of Jewish texts, but keep in mind that. I’m 41 right now. When I had my first baby, I was 25, and when I had my second and third I was 28.
And because you have twins each time, right? I have twins, , . And each time, well, each time there were only two times, but the second time, what I found was that the community that I belonged to was just so receptive. Like if. First of all, again, babies need so little, so much less than you think that they need and.
You know, getting the basics was the easy part, and I just found that like, being part of a community really, really helped me. But even if you’re not, even if you are all by yourself, even if there is no one not another soul to help you if you stop and, and think about all the things that you need. So even if you don’t get anything in advance, even if you just make a list of the things you think you need, You can get things so easily in 2022.
You can go on Amazon and get things within a couple of hours in most places. And if you can’t go to Amazon, you can go to Walmart or you can go to Target. And there’s always so many choices about things you can get so quickly. And what I’ve also found is when I put things into the universe, like again, this is work, but when I say that I need things, Some things just come, come to me and.
That is amazing. Like I’m thinking to myself, oh, I really need this. I really need this. I really need this. Right? And then the next day someone’s like, oh, I have this. Do you want this? I’m like, how’d you know? That’s what I needed. Exactly right. Like I feel like we put it out into the universe sometimes what we need, we’re putting it out there and we’re like, okay, I hope I’m gonna get it.
And we just get it. And I don’t think that anybody is ever truly. I’ve never seen where it’s like I, I mean, I have a really good friend, she’s a single mom and. She’s alone, but she’s not alone. She has friends who support her, and yes, she has to do the bulk of the work herself, but when she says, I need something, there is someone there who can have her back.
So I don’t think we’re ever at a point where really no one has our back. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that that situation is more rare. . And I think that most of us really do live in an abundant world with a lot of resources available to us. And when we shift our perspective just a little bit and say, we are in abundance, everything will be okay.
Here are the things that I need. Like every day when I journal, I write, these are the things I need today. Some days I get them, some days I don’t. Maybe I didn’t really need them. I don’t know. So the key takeaway from this conversation from this part is that. You have to actually be in a state of receiving.
Yeah. So put it out into the universe as to a part of the things that. If you’re creating space, then even ask for that. I need help creating space in this. Yes, I remember that. I was bold enough this spring to think I wanted to start a podcast and every person that I asked in my personal circle, I thought for sure they would say no.
And they all said yes. And then I was looking for a podcast coach, and I found everything just fell into alignment. I think though it is quite possible, if you do feel alone, you may not feel like you’re living in abundance or in a community of abundance, I think though. So that takes a mindset shift. It takes a mindset shift, but it is possible.
I want you to always feel empowered to ask for help. Yes. So even if you feel because they’re self available, Ask for help and usually, and if they say yes, receive it with an open hand. I think a lot of the times, if we’re talking about universe and manifesting and all of those things, and inviting in, creating space for things to come into is, I often say in my sessions I said, do you have an open hand or a closed fist?
And I ask that most of the time during the beginning of the session cuz that will indicate, is a person coachable? What’s your intention and what is the intention for the session? And are you ready to receive healing? Are you ready to receive the messages? Or closed fist? Meaning like, this isn’t a time and do we need to reschedule?
So like, you know, When you said that it triggered something for me. Um, there’s a prayer that we’re supposed to say every day Hebrew. It’s,
and it’s us supplementing God, asking him to open his hands and give us all the things that we. desire. But as you were saying that, I thought to myself, what if that isn’t just about us asking God for something? What if that is about us asking God to help us open our hands to receive whatever he gives us?
Right. And I, and I think that it’s a two-way street. We want God to, to open up and give to us. But we also, again, it’s about the space to receive. I think that’s, that’s just the key. You can’t receive if you don’t have the space. Yeah, so key thing, I’m gonna mark that as a clip, you can’t receive if you don’t have the space.
You can’t have the space unless you declutter. All of that that we talked about today doesn’t dis apply to your pantry or your kitchen. It does apply to your heart the things that you’re anticipating in life. Events like baby showers and planning for baby. What can you do in advance? and also what can you delegate?
What can you give to your partner? What can you give to a higher power? What do you need to surrender? What do you need to do to lower your expectations of of yourself or other people? Yeah. If are you putting too much on you? Because guess what, it’s 2022. It’s hot girl winter coming up, and we don’t have to be superwoman’s and super moms anymore.
I hate you. And also if you. Them find things to give to your mom and your mother-in-law because they do usually, not always, but they do really wanna help. And if you can find a way to include them, you set a precedent that is so good. And even if you don’t get along with either one of them, why limit the love that your baby gets?
I agree. I always give your mother-in-law stuff to do. My mom lives super far away. She, my mother-in-law visits us more, so we split things. Here’s an unwarranted tip. If you don’t get along with your mother-in-law, find the talents that she has and work those to your ravage. That’s not manipulative, that’s strategic.
Meaning like my mother-in-law is the hostess with thees, meaning like, That woman can host the Royals . She has the ability to make you feel at home in her house and serve you with. . Like not just a great cook, but like just a delivery. Do I ever think, I just let go of the notion that I need to live up to that, but I let her step into that role in my house, I make sure my kitchen is clean and I say, Hey, do you wanna plan out the dinners that we’re gonna have?
And she says yes. So I make sure the main entree there, her and my son like, and that’s a bonding time for them. I step back, I make sure the kitchen’s clean. , the dining room table is nice and clean, and I let her step into my space, let go of control, and let her actually do what she’s really great at. And that brings her a lot of joy.
My son puts on his apron, they have matching aprons. Oh, that’s sweet. And I think that that’s taken me years to step into, but relinquishing like control of my kitchen, but actually grades, it’s less work for me. Yeah. So, but I, but it makes everybody feel. Yeah. And it creates an inviting space for her to step into.
Yeah. And I just take care of some small things and then she takes care of the rest. So like I know that that wasn’t always a comfortable relationship for me, but she has been an angel in many ways and. In some ways has made me grow, you know, exponentially. I love that. But I always think of like every person is a human.
Like I had to look up my mom as a human. I had to look up my mother-in-law as a human. How can I accept them? Look at your baby that way, by the way. Oh goodness, too, as a whole nother podcast. But like, but like my mom sent that to me. She’s like, he’s a person. I’m like, Yeah, that was a baby. And I’m like, she’s like, no, he’s a person.
He has needs, he has feelings like, so anyway, you gotta fix that. So thank you so much for being here. We’ll share in the show notes how they can join your membership and how they can connect with you on social media. We thank you beautiful so much for being here. Thanks for, and Rebecca, you’re just a beautiful, so welcome to the podcast family.
It was an honor to connect and serve you this week. If you are a spiritually curious person wanting to conceive, inhale blockages in your fertility, click the link in the episode description to learn more about the Fertility Foundation collective. Until next time, my friend know you are love.