A fertility healing blog


Want to crush your goals in the new year? According to Forbes, 80% of people are unsuccessful by February in their resolutions made for the new year.

In this episode, Carolina and Haley Rogers are giving you the best tips on how to be successful in your goals. These tips are not exclusive to New Year’s resolutions. If you want to be efficient and supercharge your goal outcomes, then you are going to love this episode.

What you’ll learn:
1:40 How Carolina and Haley met
2:26 Goal setting for business owners and life in general
4:25 SMART Goals
8:00 Why goals could and should scare you
12:50 Carolina’s biggest failure with her 2022 goals
16:16 Setting new goals for the New Year
20:55 Things that a person should be aware of when goal setting
27:50 You don’t have to share your goals with anybody
32:55 One question Haley wished Carolina asked her

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Professional bio
The Carolina Sotomayor Podcast is brought to you by Carolina Sotomayor and the Fertility Foundation.

Carolina Sotomayor is an Expert Womb Healer who helps women conceive by removing physiological blockages with Reiki. She is the host of the Carolina Sotomayor Podcast, a show that covers everything from fertility to postpartum to motherhood, and the creator of Fertility Foundation Collective, an online membership that helps women heal at their own pace to boost their fertility.

Carolina has served over 500 women from around the world to heal. She is passionate about helping women create their families. As a result, there are over 60 reiki babies in the world.

Fertility Foundation Collective: https://carolinasotomayor.com/membership
Carolina Sotomayor Reiki: https://carolinasotomayor.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuzB6fQOHuRGyLm92M3qT

Full episode transcript:

Hi, I am Caroline. You’re a podcast host, Ricky Masser at Womb Healer. And before we dive in today, please take a moment to leave a rating review for us. We’re so grateful that you listen in every week and to show the podcast support. We are so grateful for every review and rating. So today we are talking about how to be successful in your 2023 goals with Hailey Rogers.

She’s my friend and I’m super grateful you’re here. Hi Hailey. Hi. Thank you so much for having me on. I’m very excited to be on the show and to dive into this topic with you today. I couldn’t do season two without you again. You’re like one of my favorite people. So Haley is a human design expert and business coach, and can I say serial entrepreneur?

I think at this point I have earned that title, so, . I love that. I got my scooters in hand. I’m prepared. So I first met you a long time ago through Ricky, and if you wanna watch that, go back to season one, but at one point your title was Productivity Coach. Mm-hmm. . And I was like, Ooh, I like that. And you’ve taught me so much about systems, how to optimize my day, how to be successful with goal setting.

And I had some training in goal setting from college and from jobs, but like not according to. How could I make such big tasks more obtainable or less daunting? So I know that your impact on me was huge. Can you dive into a little bit about like, so how does goal setting really come into play with business coaching and what you teach and all of the things.

Oh gosh. Yeah. I mean, honestly, goal setting is everything when it comes to running a successful business. And really just in our everyday lives, it’s very important because if we don’t, as people, as business owners, as moms have goal set, what are we doing with our time? Where are we spending our energy?

And so I think by setting. And not just any goals, right? Like there is such a thing as a bad goal, and I’m sure we’ll dive into that a little bit later, but the importance of having a, a really good goal for you as a person and as an individual is going to dictate where we spend all of our time. It basically lays that roadmap for us on where are we going next?

What is our very next step? I love that. I hear a lot in the business Space Roadmap Blueprint. Those are like the buzzwords. So in a lot of jobs and a lot of classes I’ve taken, it’s the smart goal. Everything was about the smart goal, is it? And a smart goal is actually smart is just an acronym specific.

Measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Ty. So I remember in my manufacturing pharmaceutical. Is that they would always say, is it a smart goal? But like there is never , like one department management and everything was so interconnected and interdepartmental based. They would never like check to see if there was resources or if the timeline that one department needed was actually achievable by the other department.

If. Testing and quality control could actually get them back to manufacturing for release of product. I just remember that being so ingrained in our company culture across every company I ever went to, but then , the left hand, didn’t talk to the right hand and it just was like a complete nightmare most of the time.

So I kind of have a love hate relationship with a smart goal. What do you think about the smart. . Yeah, I mean it’s, it’s a term that we all know, and I can’t say love because I mean, I feel like that term has been en, you know, ingrained in us since childhood, since going to, you know, grade school and being taught how to set these smart goals.

So, although I love the idea of having a framework for setting goals, I don’t know that it’s realistic or that impactful for everyone, because, let’s be honest, how many of us set New Year’s resolution? And maybe we do it in the smart goal format, so like kudos to you for following a framework if that’s what you’re doing.

But do we really go back and check on them? Are they really the most impactful goals for us and for our lifestyle? Uh, I be to differ. I don’t know that they’re going to. Be the best approach for setting goals for everyone. According to Google 80, that’s my 80, 80%. 80% of all New Year’s resolutions are done by February, so I don’t want that to be you.

I am a super goal-oriented person. Everything has to be planned. So like I want everyone that’s listening. I want your New Year’s resolutions or your goals for the next. To be successful. So let’s talk about what is a good goal. Yeah, so I don’t have an acronym for it, like the Smart Goals , but in my opinion, and and honestly, I don’t think you need one.

I think you need what works for you. So, in my opinion, a good goal, I like to coin it as like the game changer is a good goal is gonna be something that if you accomplish it, It’s gonna be a game changer for you. It’s gonna be a game changer for your family, for your business. So, you know, screw all these smart goals, these goals that we have in every little category of our life.

Just so we feel like we’re a well-rounded person and we’re checking the boxes. No, like throw those away and instead really hone in on and focus on, you know, those one or two things that are really gonna change the game and make the biggest impact for you. And I say this for like, For our listeners, we have business owners, mothers, mothers to be host partum moms.

Every spectrum of motherhood that listens. So your goal doesn’t always have to be money related. No. It doesn’t always have to be really like something that’s keeping up with the Joneses. Actually, quite the opposite. I want you to feel something when you’re thinking about your. I want you to feel something positive, whether it’s empowered, excited.

Sometimes goals that we do want are still also scary, so it’s not always just like puppies and unicorns and rainbows. Sometimes goals are something that we’re, oh my God, that may be so cool, but also really scary at the same time of. What would require me to expand or would require me to grow that would require me to shift in some way or create space in my life that’s not there right now.

But a good goal is, is something that just truthfully, that you want for yourself or for your family or for your home, and that you feel, for me, a good goal is that you want, because you want it for you and your home, not because you should do it, not. So and so else is doing it, or you’re doing it to keep up out of spite or just to keep status.

I want you to want this on a soul level because I feel like when your place of want is coming from within you authentically actions that come from getting the good goal are much easier. Mm-hmm. , and I love what you said about. How it should scare you. Right. I, I think that, that what is a good goal? I think we can easily pick that piece out of it and say, it should be something that scares you.

And if it doesn’t mm-hmm. a little bit, then you need to dream bigger. Like, let’s set that goal or that milestone a little bit higher because we don’t get what we don’t ask. Especially as women, we do not get what we don’t ask for. So if you’re not setting those big scary goals, you’re not going to reach it.

Of course you’re not, if you’re not setting it. Wow. Put that on a t-shirt.

It’s true. We don’t get what we don’t ask for and we don’t ask for help enough as women anyway, so, okay. So a good goal is something that should be a little bit scary or a lot scary. Mm-hmm. should be something that you want for you that comes from within and it also can be something that is unique. Last year, last summer, I think I set a.

Then I wanted to have a closer relationship with my dog. Mm-hmm. . And that sounds so funny. But the thing is, is that we had gotten this new puppy and I wanted to make sure that all of the hours of training I had done, With the first dog didn’t get lost. And also then I wanted safe dogs in our family, cuz I feel like dogs can be unpredictable no matter how well you know them.

I wanted them to be really well trained and well mannered all of the time, . So I achieved that when I told people, oh, like, oh, do you have goals for the summer? And these are just. Common conversations I have with friends. I’m like, yeah, really focusing on my relationships with the dogs. , , it was so unique and so wild, whereas like my other friends were like, oh, I’m scaling to six figures, or I’m, I’m buying a second car, or a third car, or whatever.

I’m like, oh, I’m just working on my relationship with my dogs . You know, but, but that’s the thing. It really does have to be unique to you because, you know, you and I can talk about and give people suggestions for goals and common goals that we hear, you know, in the business world or in a, you know, in a personal setting.

But it, none of it matters if it means nothing to you. In fact, I’m gonna go as far, I’m gonna go as far as sane, and this might sound a little bit harsh. It is not a goal that really matters to you at a soul level, you will not reach it. And that’s not, that’s facts. That’s facts. So, and that’s not me trying to be a Debbie Downer here.

I I really, I don’t think it’s a Debbie Downer. Yeah. That’s the great truth. Yeah. And I’ve, I’ve witnessed it personally from goals that I’ve set, as well as with clients that I’ve worked with. If it’s not a soul, a line goal, something that you really want and you’re just picking. An arbitrary number or arbitrary goal, you will not have the motivation to do it.

There are goals I don’t achieve. Mm-hmm. is because they were put there by someone else and I let them put them there and I didn’t want to do them in the first place. . So, yeah, exactly. So chances are you didn’t reach them, and that’s okay. And that’s part of my issue, so to say with the smart goals, is that it doesn’t really allow for the flexibility of, like you said, goals that are imposed by others.

Or they can even be goals that are at one time aligned with us, but then when we enter into a different season of life, they may not be as important and they can and they should change. That’s true. You might, you might have specific goals and then you find out you’re pregnant and your goals probably should change at that point in time to fit your lifestyle.

Or maybe you have like a business goal that no longer feels right, like give yourself permission to allow those to change. I think also it’s recognized with those season of life that your ability or your capacity, not your ability, but your capacity to do things, changes too. Mm-hmm. , I learned that in postpartum, and my therapist at the time told me, you’re in a transitional period of life.

Understand that your best. and your capacity. Two different things. Like my best is not gonna be the same level was before a give birth and then after postpartum would also be very different. And then my capacity was very different than what my best was. Like your capacity is like how much bandwidth can you actually perform?

And a lot goes into that. How much wellness do you have? Like how’s your health? How much sleep do you have? Are you fueling your body properly with good food? Are you hydrated? Are all of your emotional needs met? Like all of those things matter. I think a biggest failure for me when I look back at my 2021 goals in some of my 2022 goals that I absolutely li like destroyed and failed at was not understanding.

And not anticipating, and sometimes you can’t know the future. Knowing that the seasons of life I was about to go into, I did not have the full capacity or bandwidth to accomplish these very large ideas of things that I was gonna do. Mm-hmm. . So, and it’s not necessarily failures, it just, I like literally, Just regroup those goals and I put ’em on for 2023.

I like also broke them out into smaller pieces, so understanding that like how much bandwidth and not beating yourself up about it. I think this is the understanding like, okay, there’s a lesson learned here. This didn’t really work out. I need to do this differently going forward. And then I use a project planning software.

I love Meam Trio. I know you do too. I also use click. But a good pen and paper works too, but I believe that when your goal setting is also making sure that you’re putting everything in one place. So like. My husband has a million notebook and I turn him onto Trio. Mm-hmm. . And we have a marriage trio board and we have a family trio board.

Oh yeah. And we put all the things that are important to us there. And then when we have like budget meetings or if we have, like, we have marriage meetings, a separate, not at the same time, very intentional about just keeping the scope of this conversation to the topic. . And so like we’ll have monthly budget meetings and we’ll have monthly marriage meetings.

And that’s like we’re talking about family planning meeting, like vacations, not, I guess not, that’s not the best term, but we’re not having any more babies, so don’t get that confused. So more of our family planning, like playing over our future, like what does that look like? What are some goals that are coming up?

Do we have any travels? Things like that. And we put everything in one spot. And I think. . That is like also something that’s a common mistake is that there’s not an organization to the execution of the goal necessarily, especially if it’s personal. Mm-hmm. that can look different, but like I see that in clients is that, okay, so if we have this goal, what are we using to plan it?

Mm-hmm. , and it literally could just be a notebook, could be a spiral notebook. Just as long as like maybe you have a page for a parking lot of ideas. Mm-hmm. a page. And maybe you have a calendar in that notebook, and then that’s like you’re planning out what days you’re doing that. Some people use Google Calendar, a lot of ’em have note sections, and then they have reminders to go back and look at notes.

There could be a numerous ways for you to execute it, but the thing is, is that having it in one spot, Allows you to have less, either breakthroughs come get fallen through the cracks, or less details be missed. That’s just my take. It says that I, if you can use one spot, To plan all of your goals. It also allows you to see how to map out your ear.

Maybe in March, we’re going on a family spring break in April. I’m gonna take a seminar or go to that conference in May. Like, and also like depending on what your goals are, maybe you’re gonna have different types of goals are you’re gonna have family, personal, professional. You know, if you have a business, what are your business goals?

Do you have any fitness goals? What do you think about setting several different types of goals as a person for a new year? What do you think about that? You know, I think that it’s so easy and it’s human nature for us to really get behind the hype of the knee ear, right? And I love the energy of a new year and everything it brings in.

And so it’s so easy for us to overextend ourselves. Speaking of capacity and. a million different goals, and although I never like to discourage that, there’s this quote that comes to mind that I’m going to share with you. So it’s from Gary Keller. He wrote the book, the one Thing, and the quote goes, what’s the one thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier, unnecessary.

Uh, that’s super powerful. It is. So basically that’s saying of the goals that we brainstorm and that we brain up what one, and I may say even two things, should we really focus on that is going to make everything else that we just brain dumped unnecessary or at least easier. And so, right. That’s my take.

It’s, it’s not that we shouldn’t have multiple goals, but there should be a level of priorit. Because if we are splitting our focus across 10 different goals, it’s going to be harder for us to get that momentum and to see our progress. But if you are able to focus on one, maybe two goals, that’s gonna have that trickle down effect, that’s where you see that momentum.

That’s where you see the impact. Got it. Can you give an example of something that that might be Yeah, of course. So, One thing that comes to mind when I think about this is, again, as a business owner, it’s so easy to come up with. A list full of goals, right? We wanna be posting on social media, you know, five times a week and sending out monthly newsletter, like whatever it may be.

true. It’s so easy. It’s true, right? Like it’s so easy to have these industry standard goals. I used to email weekly on Mondays and have not been consistent for two months. And the agony that like plagues me in my mind. Like, it really kills me. Like, yeah, I don’t even post what my stories, my assistant does.

Like it’s so hard to like get caught up in those traps. Mm-hmm. it is. So we all have these goals that are probably self-imposed or what we see others doing that we try to keep up with instead of asking ourselves, okay, what, what am I actually trying to accomplish here? So again, as a business owner, you’re probably trying to make more.

At the end of the day, like a lot of our goals are income-based and that’s, you know, again, not every goal has to be monetary, but using this as an example, if I want to make more passive income in my business, what could I do to accomplish that? And that is something that I tackled this year and my route to accomplish that goal was actually by getting on Etsy so that way people can find me and I no longer have to advertise on social media as much.

So that was, for me, that was that one thing I could do that now makes emailing and posting on social media. It makes it either easier or at some points if I don’t do it, it’s okay because I still have passive income coming in through Etsy. So that’s just one example of how you can, you know, I, I could have focused on all three of those things, right?

And I probably could have thrown in some more goals for my business. But really it was about focusing on the one thing that made everything else irrelevant. in selling the products that you’re selling on Etsy? Mm-hmm. , it brings you. Oh heck yeah. Every time I get that notification that I made some passive income, that definitely makes me happy.

my point is, is that the goal that you have by switching to Etsy is to serve you and bring you more joy. Like that was to create more space. So like an underlying goal was like, I’m tired of posting on social media. I have other things I wanna be doing in my life. How can I. show up more in my life, but still accomplish this goal.

Like what is a solution here? And that solution was Etsy. So some goals are actually to create more time and space in your life. Yeah. And so by doing that, it really did free up the time and space for me to be a little bit more creative. So because I wasn’t always having to come up with content for social media and be present all the time.

I could instead create more digital products on Etsy, do the creative things that I really wanted to do. So yeah, I would say any goal that’s going to free up the time and space, get you to that outcome is a worthwhile goal for sure. , is there anything that a person should be aware when they’re, like they’re mapping out their goals and they ever feel stuck or overwhelmed or confused on how to organize the goals or where to start or how even like one goal might solve others?

How do they get out of that rut? Yeah, so I would say the most straightforward approach. When you’re starting to feel overwhelmed or like you don’t know where to start, is to start to break those goals down into smaller baby steps. And I think you’ve mentioned that before. So you have this big overwhelming goal.

Maybe it’s, you know, to start a podcast or even, you know, start meal planning regularly for your family. And if you don’t know where to start, think of, okay, one needs to happen and you don’t have to put these in order, but literally just like bringing down all the things you must do. And where most people forget or leave out in goal setting is think of all the obstacles you have between you and that goal.

And again, that’s not me being a Debbie Downer, but those roadblocks, so to say are obstacles are going to create your pathway. Right. So for example, if your goal is that you want to run a marathon in four months, great. What are the obstacles between you reaching that goal? Maybe you don’t have great running shoes.

Maybe you have two under two, and you don’t know who’s gonna watch the kids, so you can go run. Maybe you don’t have anywhere to run. So start with those obstacles, because we’re gonna do it anyways. It’s human nature to start thinking of all the why, you know, why nots, and all the things that are gonna stand in our.

So lean into what’s like natural and start to create a plan around those so-called obstacles. I love that. Do you ever think about where the excuses come from? Ooh, that’s a good question. So like, excuses to not do something. Mm-hmm. . And if you don’t want it, and that goes back to like, if you don’t want it on a sole level, you’re not gonna do it.

I don’t think that’s our case is straight up truth. You were talking about, you know, obstacles, but also in, during our planning of this episode. Mm-hmm. , you said something that really struck me. Mm-hmm. that kind of stayed with me was like, all of our excuses are our action steps. Yeah. And when I think about.

When I’ve had goals, oh gosh. Where I’ve made excuses, I wasn’t ready. Mm-hmm. , and when I finally was ready, and sometimes it was much later. Mm-hmm. , like for my business, like I thought about a podcast a year ago. Sure. I thought about a membership two years ago. Now I have a fertility membership. It’s one year old.

My podcast, I started in March, started recording in March, and I never thought, . I made a lot of excuses before then. Mm-hmm. , but. I wasn’t quite ready, but when I was ready and I wanted it really badly, there was nothing stopping me. I figured everything out. So I think that the difference between like knowing like what is a true excuse or knowing if you’re just not ready.

Hmm. And it’s okay not to be ready at the same time everyone else’s. I wasn’t ready to get married in my twenties and I was engaged twice before they weren’t the right people. And then when I was ready, Guess what? He showed up seven months later and I got married a year later. So like I think you’re never gonna be wrong for knowing yourself better and understanding how you feel and your emotions, cuz that’s actually going to be probably my best tip for achieving any 2023 goal is the better that you know yourself, the more successful you will be because you will only put yourself in situations and goals that you know that.

You can commit to and fully show up for, but all setting goals that you’re not afraid of. being uncomfortable in, or that are scary. You’re not only making goals that you’re like, yeah, I can slay that. I can smash that. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. , like you’re also committed to growth. I think that our emotions are really such a powerful communicator because you’re absolutely right.

I think that. , and it may even sound a little bit contradictory, you know, cause we’re saying that goals should scare you. Yes. But also if you have this like massive fear that you’re feeling like, don’t just shove that down and ignore it. I think that, and, and I’m sure any listener is probably saying like, okay, but how do we actually differentiate whether this is like growth or whether this is fear?

And I think the biggest thing is, you know, a, any goal worthwhile that we really want, like we’ve already d. Probably gonna scare you a little bit, probably gonna raise a lot of questions about, okay, how do I do this? This is very new to me. And the thing is, if you do truly want it, you’ll be able to break those down into what do I actually need to find out?

So starting the podcast, okay, how do I start a podcast? Where do I host it on? Like, these are all things where the obstacles, so to say, do become our next steps. You know, researching where to host them, maybe asking in a Facebook group for support. So that’s how those, that fear, so to say can truly become our next steps.

But at the same time, if your body is like just closing up and you’re like, no, like Uhuh . It’s so true. Do you wanna share any experiences where your body is like, no. Hey, do you have any experience you wanna share about like I, yeah, I will. We didn’t even talk about this when we were planning, but in my online.

about, you know, six months ago I just wasn’t feeling anything. I could have set every single goal that made perfect sense for me, but at the end of the day, if my body is truly shutting down and I’m getting that pit in the bottom of my stomach and it’s saying, no, this does not feel right to me. I have to honor that.

Right. As women, we are so powerful and we know what’s right and what’s wrong, and so I had to honor that. Even though it was confusing and I didn’t know what this meant and I didn’t know what came next, but really giving myself that space to say, Nope, this isn’t right, right now. Allowed better things to come into my life that when they did, even though they were scary as hell, even though they made me grow.

I did it because it felt right, and I know that there’s no metric for that. We can’t like measure it or put it on a chart. But it’s this beautiful combination of yes, you know, we’re organizing and we’re bring dumping the goals, but also we’re honoring what our body and internal guidance system is telling us.

That is so true. Like outwardly, nobody would’ve noticed that because I love you, so I followed all your stuff and outwardly it looked like, you know, everything was dotted, everything you present to the world’s super polished and professional. So I would’ve never known that. and you wouldn’t like. So if you’re afraid of someone judging you or people watching you while you make goals mm-hmm.

you don’t have to share it. You can share it with just your spouse or your partner or your best friend, or you don’t have to share it with anybody. My newest thing is I learned I was an overshare. I learned to be much more quiet. about the things I was doing. So I’ll share things with you in dms and messages and things like that.

But like when I was been working on my rebranding, I maybe may have said it like in a story or a couple times, but like I basically went radio silent on my socials for a while, and so when I go quiet, it’s because I’m working on something massive so you don’t have to share. what you are doing. If you’re working on something that, you know, there’s that saying like, disappear for six months and come back a new person, show ’em all.

Mm-hmm. , like, do it because you want to, not because you’re like showing up for spite for someone. I used to operate in that space a lot. It just leaves you bitter. Mm-hmm. . So if you wanna do something and you don’t want criticism, do it silent. And then surprise people. It is kind of like the shock factor.

It’s worth it though. Like, bam, like with my rebring and my website, I was like, bam. And like , nobody really knew I was doing like a season two or like what I was doing with the video until like I shared it. So if you once. To avoid criticism and you want to avoid, in some cultures, they call it the evil eye on people hating on you.

Stay quiet, work in silence. Or you know, some people thrive off of group support. Share your goal and if you wanna cancel your goal, guess what? Push, delete, that’s fine. But if you set a goal where you say you wanna lose 50 pounds, know why you wanna do it. Also, like if you wanna manifest with your goals.

There’s a couple things you should do. One book of human design reading with Haley. You need to know whether you’re a specific or non-specific manifestor and or you could Google it. There’s plenty of online resources. Two is like, so if you’re a non-specific manifestor for human design, then you want to make sure that you’re connecting with the emotion.

If you are a specific manifestor for human design, you wanna use a vision. Because some vision boards work for some people and they don’t for others, like I, it does not work for me. It works for you. Right. Cuz you’re specific. Correct. So yeah. So the way that we manifest is different and I think that’s very powerful to know how you can best leverage the way that you’re designed to bring things in.

Yeah, so I think also with goal setting, you know, a lot of people like it’s very popular mainstream for like law of abundance, and if you can get to the emotion and the why behind the goal, you’ll be much more likely to achieve it than just setting the goal. I think this specifically goes behind money and.

And those are two very like sensitive topics, right? Yeah, for sure. Why do you want the money? What are you gonna use the money for? Because it’s really, you’re not manifesting money. You’re manifesting what emotion you’re gonna have when you either buy the thing or what you’re gonna use the money for.

Wait, why do you wanna lose the weight? What’s going to magically change for you within. For it? Is it for blood pressure? Like what is the why behind the weight? And I feel like the money, the weight, knowing the why is very deep. You need to know that for those things to stick. Mm-hmm. , because I feel like they’re both very fluid.

Like you can lose weight and gain it real back, and it has a lot to do with your emotion and your mindset that goes with it to keep it off. Also, with money, you can earn money and lose money so quickly. So both can Yo-yo. So it’s really important to understand also with goals, as you achieve it and you grow, there’s behaviors within you that are gonna change.

So what are the behaviors behind the goals? That are currently happening and also that need to go from X to Y or A to B. If you can look deep enough, and this can be uncomfortable, if you can look. In that way at yourself and say, okay, I might be this kind of way, but I need to go this way. Mm-hmm. , or I have really negative self-talk about my body.

I need to love myself in a different way. I love myself in a better way than, or perhaps maybe you wanna fit different in your jeans. Whatever it is that it is that you want, just know your why behind it, and then if you feel good about that, why, then that’s good enough, not because Linda or Betty down the street said something, screw those people.

So , my podcast is related, explicit, so I can say that

Okay, so full permission. So I’m gonna throw in here a bonus question that I didn’t tell you about. Oh boy, put me on the spot. What is one question that you wish I asked you in this podcast, and how would you answer it? Hmm. Well, you’re such a great host. I feel like you’ve covered all of the questions. , if you don’t have anything, that’s fine too, but sometimes that really surprises people and then they get like a zinc of inspiration and they’re like, I wish you asked me this.

You know, I think because we’ve been talking about goals, one thing I wish you would’ve asked me is, If there was ever a time that I maybe achieved a goal or had a goal that wasn’t probably the best thing that like I should have been shooting for. Ooh, that’s juicy. Yeah, I know. You gonna answer it? Of course, I will.

I, I assume that’s what this was for. Yeah. I don’t, I , I have no . I have watch, I mean that kinda a taser I can distinctly remember. So for the longest time I had a nine to five working in higher education, which was, you know, a great job for me. And I fell into the trap of really shooting for the school of being in management.

And I remember feeling so, I don’t know if envious is the right word, but when someone had gotten promoted, I was like, it just rubbed me the wrong way. You know it, it made me feel jealous. It made me feel like that should be my goal. Why am I not doing these things? That’s what logically happens next is you go into leadership.

And so for a while that was my goal, right? Like I needed to check all the boxes to get to the next step in the ladder, you know, of this corporate hierarchy. And I realized, That this goal that I was working towards was not what I wanted. When I really sat back and thought like, could I envision myself at this company for another 10 years sitting, and this was the aha moment, I remember talk about emotions.

We were sitting at this annual meeting and it was a celebratory event, right? Like the company was doing so well, they were recognizing everyone who had been there for 15 years, 20 years. And I remember, think. If they call my name on stage for 10 or 15 years, I’m doing something wrong. Like I got this pit in the bottom of my stomach that said, I do not wanna be here being recognized for my tenure because this is not what I want.

And so it was like that. Wow, that’s super powerful. And it was, this was truly a feeling that I had it, you know, again, it’s not something I can measure, but when I had that feeling though so strong that I cannot be. Being recognized for my tenure, I knew that that’s when it was time to make a move and that it was time that this goal that I had arbitrarily set was no longer my goal.

It was no longer mine to have. That’s super powerful. I’ve been at companies. When I first moved to Nebraska, I worked for a company for five years, and during there there was dozens of people that would retire. Mm-hmm. , and it was a very large manufacturing plant, and they would have giant cheesecakes. 25, 30.

Yes. I think the most that a person had ever worked there, and it was usually. Operators that worked the machinery. Mm-hmm. that were there for, that worked on the production floor, or that were somewhere in mechanics or something like that. I think the most I had ever seen was someone 45 years. Wow. And I said, man, I think that I, I was like, I hope I’m not here.

In 45 years I get bored and eventually I learned, so I could totally relate of like watching other people. But that just goes back to how observing you are and how connected to you, you, to your inner voice and intuition is, and I’m so proud of you for. Making those moves for yourself. That’s very brave.

Thank you. It goes back to what we’ve already said. It’s scary. Like, was making that change easy from what was coming? No, I, that was in my comfort zone. But the thing is, we could only suppress that internal dialogue for so long before it starts to become a screen, right? So like for you and I, at those moments, it was probably like a very clear like, I don’t wanna be here.

Right? This wasn’t right for me. And if we ignore. It’s just gonna get louder and louder so everyone listening probably knows what we’re referring to, right? You have that internal dialogue saying, I don’t wanna grow my family anymore. I don’t wanna be a stay-at-home mom anymore. Whatever it is, like that internal dialogue is there to help you and guide you and either get rid of goals or create new ones.

I realized a lot of my goals were noise. Yeah. And I got rid of like 75% of my goals and I made it very simple and I made like a new standard. Like this is kind of like my mission statement for my life right now. Mm-hmm. . And it came down to getting very clear in what I did want my life to be like. Mm-hmm.

And the one thing, it wasn’t money that I wanted, it wasn’t, it was time freedom. , yes. I had to get very clear on like my husband, like he actually pushed me pretty hard, had some giant shifts in my life recently, professionally, and he’s like, I need you to get really honest with yourself and then tell me so we can all catch up to you,

I said, what is it that you want in your life? Because I had everything outwardly and I was like, I’m very. . I’m very, very unhappy. I was angry. I was short-tempered, very not happy to be around. And I came down to, and I took probably two weeks. I had some ideas before there, but like I concretely came out when we went up for lunch, I said, I want time freedom.

Mm-hmm. . And now I work part-time in my business and I work 20 hours a month and I was working probably. 60 hours a week. Yeah. So like I am now in a season, I’m calling it my Sin era. It’s my SIN era. It’s like . I love it and I am figuring out who I am at 39. I am actually, I may use consequently some business shifts in my OB m space where it’s been quite lucrative to increase my rate intake on less clients, work less, but still make a significant amount of money.

And be fearless about it, and then also still have my reiki, which brings me so much joy and service to the world and run both companies. Happily, but doing it with less hours. And I’m in, I heard a TikTok era and that’s where like you’re gardening and you’re doing your coffee multiple times a day and like everything’s intentionally moving slower.

So that’s my excuse. Now I call, I told my husband, I was like, I’m a part-timer. And he’s like, wow, you’re really like relaxed. It’s tonight. And I was like, as soon as I made that shift that said, I’m a part-time. And I let go of like that. I have to work full-time. And I know this is a lot of privilege. I also have worked years for this moment to get to this point, and I think over time my dreams have led to this, which I thought was impossible to actually achieve, but it’s getting very clear on like what it is that I want my life to look at, look like, and then make the goals from there.

And. The goals have brought me, minimizing the goals, have brought me more peace. Mm-hmm. , your goals should not bring you more strife. It may make you uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. , and that’s not to get confused, but thank you so much for taking the time to be with us. It’s always an honor to speak with you. I’m always blown away with how much you bring with your presence and conversation.

Well, thank you. I truly enjoyed getting to chat with you about goals, especially this time of the year. You know, it’s a hot topic. People wanna set goals, they wanna be successful in the new year, so I really appreciate that. Well, happy New Year to our listeners and we wish you a happy New Year. Yes. Happy New Year,

All right, I’ll talk to you soon, Hailey. All right, bye bye.

How to be successful in your 2023 Goals with Haley Rogers

Self Development

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