Why I’m No Longer Saying Yes and Here’s What I’m Doing Instead
Are you overwhelmed in life? Sometimes life can run us instead of designing what we want for our lives.
In this episode, Carolina shares how she is creating space in her life to assess what brings her joy, how to be present with her family, and pause to reflect on her goals.
If you are constantly saying yes and exhausted, then you need to listen to this episode. You are deserving of the life that you want, but we can’t have that and go all the time without reflection.
What you’ll learn:
1:00 The reasons why I’m no longer saying yes and starting saying no
2:00 My worries
3:05 I’m saying no a lot more
4:42 The lesson and importance of setting boundaries
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Professional bio
The Carolina Sotomayor Podcast is brought to you by Carolina Sotomayor and the Fertility Foundation.
Carolina Sotomayor is an Expert Womb Healer who helps women conceive by removing physiological blockages with Reiki. She is the host of the Carolina Sotomayor Podcast, a show that covers everything from fertility to postpartum to motherhood, and the creator of Fertility Foundation Collective, an online membership that helps women heal at their own pace to boost their fertility.
Carolina has served over 500 women from around the world to heal. She is passionate about helping women create their families. As a result, there are over 60 reiki babies in the world.
Fertility Foundation Collective: https://carolinasotomayor.com/membership
Carolina Sotomayor Reiki: https://carolinasotomayor.com/
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Full episode transcript:
Hi, I’m Carolina. I am your podcast host and expert womb healer. Today I am talking about why I am no longer saying yes, and here’s what I’m doing Instead, I am no longer saying yes because I’m gonna be busy sitting and waiting. I’m gonna be saying no.
I’m gonna be doing my hobbies, getting to know myself new. The new me in 2022, I am learning to listen even better than I was before. I’m setting boundaries, and lastly, no longer saying yes because I’m disappearing. Instead, I’m disappearing from people’s lives that no longer aligned with mine. I am appearing from places that no longer align with me.
I am no longer saying yes. Instead, I’m taking action with the things that actually do align with me and getting to know who I am. Now, I’m no longer saying yes to all the things and overwhelming myself. Instead, I’m prioritizing me and every possible boy in this stage of motherhood. I have a kindergartner and all the things that coming from.
Having a kindergartner, I was worried that it’ll be super emotional and it’ll be a big adjustment. And it was, but it wasn’t like the big drama that. People had presented to me, I took two weeks off intentionally before he went into kindergarten, cuz I knew that I would never have that type of freedom again.
Once he entered public school. Our schedules would be dictated by the holiday breaks and the inservice days and the random times that they might get out early. So I no longer had. Elective freedom that you have when you’re in daycare and can pick up and go on a trip, and for two weeks before Allie went to daycare.
I really settle into really implementing a lot of things that my friends, my friend Caitlin introduced me to about slower living, about healing from burnout and connecting to what are your priorities now. So I’m no longer saying yes, actually saying no a lot more, and I’m not going on lunch dates and I’m not going out, and I never really was much of those things anyway, but.
I’m waiting. I’m sitting and I’m listening to myself, to my child, to my husband, and I’m really gaining a lot of clarity on where everyone is right now. The pandemic has really done a number on so many people, and I can’t imagine the past few years haven’t changed your soul in some way, but also within the pandemic.
I left a corporate job that defined a lot of who I was, and it was a very toxic place that I had worked at, and the career was really heavy, and so there was a lot of unpacking and a lot of healing to do, and a lot of unlearning to do. and how to be free and how to be present in this new life. How to organize this new life, and how do you have balance?
How do I schedule things in this new life of entrepreneurship, uh, of being a mom, uh, from 2021 when I left to 2022? But then here’s the kicker. How do I. handle that. And now I have a kindergartner that needs care from 3:00 PM to for the rest of the evening. So I have even shorter working hours. So I’m no longer saying yes to all the external things that I normally would have said.
Cuz I’m a recovering people pleaser. So I encourage you, my friends. A lesson here is what are you saying yes to and what do you need to be saying no to? And what boundaries do you need to. and where do you need to be sitting and listening to? So for me, each day, my greatest moment of every day is sitting outside alone, and the weather is beautiful.
It’s still very green, and today, I think it was 89 degrees is like just perfect sitting outside in the grass, literally put a timer around for 15 minutes on my phone. and I sit with my puppies and I just sit and I listen and I watch and I close my eyes and I listen to the winds, and I listen to the birds and watch the birds fly, and those few minutes that I’m sitting there grounds me for the rest of the day.
It also cleanses my energy, so having that time to listen and be present allows me to later have capacity. To get to know my son after his school day. So I encourage you to no longer say yes and decide what you’re gonna do instead. That looks different for every person. And this is really great because we have to do these pauses and this is not a forever thing.
This is a period of time for me to recalibrate, to reassess cuz some things aren’t working anymore. I only do things until they don’t work anymore. I learned that. I forget where I heard it. Everything is figure outable. I think that was from James Woodmore. Pretty sure that was from James Woodmore. He’s a business by design coach.
If you’re in the online space, he’s fantastic. So I no longer plan for five years ahead. I no longer plan really even what we’re gonna do for spring break, not too much ahead. Very much focused right now. What do we need? How can we be happy? Why is making us happy? Does this feel good still? Does this still work for our family?
Does this still work for me? Am I still getting joy from this? Am I dreading my day? Am I angry? Why am I angry? Doing check-ins so that I can have a better relationship with myself, have a better relationship with my son and my spouse? Cuz really at the end of the day, If those three are not taken care of, I’m not any good for the rest of the world, so I’m no longer saying yes so I can listen and I can be closer to my family.
And that’s just the season I’m in right now. And maybe a month from now it’ll look a lot different. Maybe I am saying yes cuz I’ve created space. For more activities to come and fill that space in. Right now, I have no more space, so can’t say yes. I have to look to see what can be cut and what is bringing me joy and what’s not bringing me joy so I can redesign my schedule and my days and my relationships so that they have ability and capacity to grow and expand and change.
Also, have capacity to make mistakes in too. You know, we’re not perfect. So encourage you to pause, encourage you to listen. It’s been a lot of listening, tell you the truth and. I’m gonna leave you here with that. Just know that you’re immensely. Until next week, I hope you have the best TAs.
